YSunday, August 14, 2005
well i didn't accomplish many things i planned to these past few months. and now i feel like such a bum because everyone is so goddamned reed thin and i'm fat and chun lei and xiao wei are comparing the thickness of their thighs. haha i admit it. i'm jealous of skinny people because i'm not but i won't let it get me down because i have a love-me personality that will win me all the friends in the world . lolx i think about the choices i've made in life and lots of them were mistakes. how i shouldn't let people go. shouldn't let people step all over me. i shouldn't be choosing to let people have their way. sometimes i just let them be because its their life, not mine. and sometimes i get irritated afterwards. hmmm. if only i was more outspoken. i think i am but not in the way that i'd speak out that what other people are doing is wrong. its quite complicated to explain. and also i wonder why i find it my responsibility to go for tuition. is it because we actually pay fees to attend the class ?? or a sense of i-don't-know-what. i'm quite sure i wouldn't choose to go watch fireworks over attending tuition. maybe because its a.maths and i like a.maths or maybe its because i'm hoping something miraculous will happen that makes class for that day special. i have this horoscope book that i read every night before i sleep. it tells the horoscope for each day. hmm. you know like if i read that something special will happen the next day and that i should be extra observant, then i go to bed with an excited feeling. and the whole day i'll have the tingling feeling inside. lolx. maybe i'd help an old woman cross the road or meet a handsome guy haha. i'm just such a sucker for lies. anyway its like 1 am and my sister and my mom aren't back from mustaffa with my pens yet so how am i going to do my work. . X(
i'm drinking horlicks now. it has FIGHTAMINS ! i wonder what they really do. oh well sometimes i wonder if i'm normal. why can't i be either really really stupid or really logical and type such fascinating posts that leave people pondering about what i blogged about. but i don't gain much enlightenment from what i post so i think my blog is just a waste of time. i'm happy when i look at my exciting orange paul frank blog but i just wonder if i'm wasting my time. bah. yes its an outlet for me to express my opinions and thoughts and its much neater than my fugly handwriting. i have a diary too you know to write in when my lazy fingers are sore from doing all those stupid maths papers. it seems never ending, like i'm continuing to drown in this big pool of e.maths and a.maths papers that the teachers continuosly dump on us. i can't seem to finish and now i don't even know when mr tay is going to start going through the papers. spare me. i need to study other things to. its barely a month to the prelims and now i'm panicking. why didn't i wake up those silly ideas and start studying like i planned to two months ago.
shoE was here with you at