YWednesday, January 18, 2006
anyway was being grouchy today but well guess its just my habit to be happy and well starting off the day prasing the Lord really doesn't allow me to be unhappy lar knowing that God will always support me and give me strength. first GP tutorial and we have an assignment to do within one day. bleahx. having geog h1 lecture at 315 tomorrow. probably going to hang out again and then i think we'll have soccer. aiyaii. my life is full of mixed feelings and sometimes i just feel like crying although i don't really want other people to know i'm quite weak sometimes. come on. face it. i'm a girl lar. although i know i'm not exactly the most girly girl around or the most demure and cultured and refined though my name is shuyan and the shu sort of stands for being demure and lady-like. things get to me. like we were going for dinner today after band and there was this fat rat which got run over by a car and its intestines or brain or some organ was like outside its body and it was a really really REALLY GROSS SIGHT. i really felt sad for it although i'm not a fond of rats. what happened after that served to traumatize me even more because these crows came and pecked at its' spilled out guts. eww/ the thought of it sends shivers down my spine. and well, i couldn't bear to watch anymore but i heard the crow put its claw, foot or whatever it is on the rats body and pulled the whatever organ it was out, using its leg as some fulcrum thing. eww eww eww// super disturbing. like the stupid driver must have been really lucky to have run over the rat cos i don't think its that easy to run over one unless it was already dead in the middle of the carpark. grrr. poor rat.
today has been a pretty lousy day for me. i just realised yesterday that i've sort of been avoiding my problems for the last 16 years of my life. and it sucks to suddenly realise it
shoE was here with you at