YWednesday, February 01, 2006
oh this is so exciting ! we went to KBOX again !! whoopie. got to sing for a LONG LONG TIME. despite the non-student rates, we managed to enjoy ourselves HEAPS and LOADS. and trix and i ordered the most expensive drinks lolx. mine tasted strongly of detergent so i'm never drinking it again although normally it would cost ten dollars lolx. oh well i realised something else about myself today. was talking to trixie about something lar. some friendship stuff. then i realised that maybe my previous weird friendship stuffs scarred me. i never heard before of friendships scarring people only of relationhips. anyway, thats not the point. the thing is that i realised i don't have anough faith in my friends and maybe all the while its cos i daren't believe that my friends would be there for me in times of need thats why i was constantly seeking new friends and while i used to think i was a real good friend maybe i just didn't trust myself enough. like i never felt i had anyone to confide in until i was saved by God and i found out how much He loved me and that i could share my problems with him and he's make them all right. but now i think i need to start anew and just trust in people and friends because good friends are friends from the heart and will always be joint by a strong bond. and you don't have to hang the words "best friends" or "good friends" or "cliques" around your mouth all the time to prove that you are good friends. ever since i accepted Jesus into my heart. He's helped me to see my flaws and helps me to change myself to be a better person. to face up to reality and not run away from matters people always calling me a social butterfly got me thinking about stuff and now i know the root cause of things. in a way its a good thing to know lots of friends and its also a bad thing because you try to be close to everyone but its quite mpossible. i think from now onwards i will be the one to make the initiative to maintain a strong friendship and its going to be even more difficult now that i'm leaving. so... life is jst going to get better from now on !
ho hums. today was my last day in sajc. its pretty sad lar. i mean i don't know what feelings i was supposed to have cos i'm sad yet i don't want things to get to emotional. and i'm hoping to be able to see ROJAK gang before i leave as well as my OG so we can leave the tears and goodbyes in a more private and small manner rather than in the middle of the cafe.
shoE was here with you at