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YTuesday, April 25, 2006
so there. thats a brief description about ANZAC day and why i have another holiday after my two week holiday. lolx
today albert house people went out and enjoyed ourselves !! there was pong, sikai, andrew, poh, syafiq, neo, christine wong, tiana, wenqi and myself ! we went bowling, drank boost juice then went to watch a movie (scary movie4)
boost juice took quite a long time so we had to rush to finish our last game before we could go to our movie cos its quite ex. 9 dollars for the first game with shoes then 6 dollars for each next game. but it was really fun. we thrashed the guys in the first game but the second game, it was a battle against time, so .... we lost unfortunately cos people like andrew and syafiq and neo were on fire. actually ALL THE GUYS were on fire. lolx
hoho. anyway, i got 02jam on my comp already but i'm quite sucky at it cos i conclude i have quite retarded fingers. hmmm... and after seeing pro people like jarrod play, i have no mood to continue already hahas. although its quite good to play when you're bored. oh and albert finally lent me 'stairway to heaven' yay-ness
buddy number one rocks !
well. today was also quite a bad day. chua asked poh and i to join them for lunch but cos we ate lunch at albert house and albert kias were going out together then i didn't join them. i was feeling real bad about it already then they came to the arcade and i felt even more bad. then then i thought it wasn't so bad already, but then they watched the same movie as us and i saw them after it ended. haix. and albert still lent me the dvd. so it made me feel triply bad. haiyah. but in a way, its a good thing right because i know i have friends who don't forget about me. i really thank the Lord for blessing me with friends like adi, albert, cherie, chua, eric, jarrod, lynsey, mabel, melissa, ninghui, shuk. thinking about it makes the loneliness go away cos they always ask me out although sometimes i turn them down because i hang out with albert house people. X)
and i also recharged my phone already so yay !
tomorrow i'm getting back lit. results... scary scary. claudio seems to give really low marks. X(
well. cheerios people ! lots of love
song playing now: little boy- jaycee chan
YMonday, April 24, 2006
just got back from some workshop for student committee. i'm wondering if i still want to join. we played the game where we have to build the tallest tower. i always hated the game cos i can never figure out how to actually build a tall one. and it seems like everyone can come up with good ideas. aiyaii. suddenly i understand what they mean by the cold weather makes people feel really terrible. lonely inside even. i never thought that i would feel it. but the coldness really makes me feel sad. i seem to be attracting all these sad feelings to myself like a magnet. i thought that as long as i had God, then i'd be ok. i'd be able to cope. in the beginning, i was very happy and i actually really like the freedom and all. the ability to do whatever i want and the satisfaction of managing my time well, having fun,doing my work. maybe its just today. like the other time when i felt really lonely inside .. then i prayed to my almight God and then things got better.
maybe i really am the kind of person that needs assurance from people that they will be my friends no matter what. and i'm trying my best to get rid of that stupid feeling. i don't even know how it started in the first place. i guess things would be the same even if i stayed in Singapore. even with so many friends that care for me, i never felt satisfied. and yet now when i have good friends that i trust and spend time with, i still get a bit jittery. i get uneasy. i know i shouldn't have this feeling.
i don't seem to be typing sense. maybe typing while listening to music distracts me and i can't think properly. i don't want to be weak. i don't want to cry. i want to be happy all the time. but then, no matter how happy i am i know there will be times when i can't help but breakdown right. its impossible to have no worries in the world i realised. no one can be so happy 100% of the time. i know after i cry i'll be fine again. its almost as though i'm surrounded by so many people but there's no one to talk to. or i'm one of the people that feel weird when u walk next to someone and not talk to the person.
i feel like i've been typing a lot of broken sentences in this post. but its nonsense anyway.hah. having a blog really makes me feel better cos i can rant out all my feelings and not many people read anyway so its good.
songs playing:jessica simpson-
betcha she don't love you
whats it gonna be
YSaturday, April 22, 2006
my internet is finally working after the holidays.
today i'm feeling guilty. everyone was supposed to go to eric's house at night to celebrate the starting of school or something. but then later we're going to surprise weisung for his birthday and we're supposed to go to cocoa black later at eight a clock which in twenty seven minutes.
last night we were watching big mama's house until it was super boring so we changed to watch wedding crashers instead. it is quite err.... porn-otic lolx. hahas. hav quite a lot of scenes with topless girls. so those perverts out there reading this. you can go watch it. if you haven't already watched it
now andrew, qiqi safiq and i are in syafiq'r room using the internet and we're trying to get 02 mania from syafiq to play it. we're so INTO the game. although i still think i have very retarded fingers and i'm not much good at the game. hahas
YFriday, April 21, 2006
had that student committee interview thing. was quite freaky with the two of them sitting in front of me. oh well. i think the questions weren't that bad .. stuff like what motivates me and whether i manage my time well and things like that. i realise i couldn't stop using the phrase'and things like that' hahas. aiyah. i can't change what i said so i'm not going to think about it.
finally get to go online today i'm so happy. maybe its because i woke up early and decided not to go back to sleep and everyone is probably still sleeping. oh well. i'm just feeling happy. and i want to watch little britain again. its super funny. was watching one episode last night with nine year old qiqi. lolx
on tuesday when i arrived i took a sky bus back to some train station so my trip back to albert house wasn't as expensive as if i took a taxi from the airport.
tuesday evening we went to eric's house then we spent the night at albert's place watching stairway to heaven but elaine... i left at 7 in the morning to go home and sleep. !! its supe nice ! i'm gonna continue watching tomorrow night at eric's place. aaah. every episode is so touching.. !! oh then wednesday i woke up at around 5pm. and my eyes did something scary. my vision became more blur when i put on my specs. it really freaked me out. but then i still went to eric's place for dinner cos they cooked spaghetti for me supposedly hahas.
its freaking cold today. 13.4 degrees now.
hmmm. what did i want to write... i can't remember.. the w=cold is retarding my brain a bit ! hahas
thats all for now then.. i'm going to write letters ! .
sarah dear. its ok yah don't think too much about it. or you could go on feeling guilty till i come back again. but don't ok. hahas
and fred ! i sort of shifted your name. be happy !
| Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss" |
 You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive |
YThursday, April 20, 2006
| You Are 16 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
i love wenqi !! hahas although she's only 9 ! hee
YWednesday, April 19, 2006
had a great flight
YTuesday, April 18, 2006
well. i'm leaving my house in about half an hour. so here's saying goodbye to all my wonderful family and friends. thanks for making my holiday such a wonderful one although it was really short !!
ooh ps: i also removed the song from my blog cos i don't want to errm. discourage people with limited mb from reading or visiting my blog. hahas and i was getting a bit sick of the song. been there for about A YEAR. well. if anyone's interested. its 'thats when ilove you' by 'aslyn' yupps. looking to change the song but .. being the computer retard i am. can't figure out how to. so i managed to put a music video on it instead below my tagboard. so you can view the MTV once and never see it again kind of thing. so i'm giving you the liberty to choose whether or not to listen to MY SONG. ok don't really like the one i have on now. but i'm looking forward to changing it soon !
sighs. back to my dear 300mb after the wondrous eight days usage of BROADBAND. the intelligence of SINGNET ! hee
ok. i see fred has my name on like two of his posts so i shall put his name here too. lolx. was chatting with frederick that day. and its nice to know that i've sort of introduced him to my friend. so now timothy knows frederick and frederick knows timothy. yay-ness
looking forward to some high class treat from tim the next time i'm back. which could possibly be in december so you have a long time to save up before i burn a hole in your pocket ! lolx. nah i'm joking.
my plane leaves in about two and a half hours ! around ten plus i'll be back in melbourne !
YMonday, April 17, 2006
01.Have you ever really cried your heart out?
* yes
02.Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
* yes
03.Have you ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
* no
04.Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?
* yes
05.Do you cry when you get an injury?
* depends if its a big injury i would
06.Do certain songs make you cry?
* when they trigger in me sad memories
HAPPY SECTION.
01.Are you a happy person?
* most of the time
02.What can always make you happy?
* chocolate !!
03.Do you wish you were happier?
* how much happier can one person get ??
04.Is being happy overrated?
* no
05.Can music make you happy?
* yes. the right kind of music
LOVE SECTION.
01. How many times have you had your heart
broken?
* hmmm....
02. Have you ever loved someone so much that
you'd die for them?
* no.
03.Anyone besides your friends/family ever said
they loved you?
* who else can there be ?? enemies ??
04.Have you ever been head over heels in love?
* yes
05.Who are two people you love right now?
* why only two ?!!
HATE SECTION.
01.Who do you actually hate?
* no one
02.Have you ever made a hate list?
* duh no !
03.Have you ever been on a hate list?
* maybe. i think so or i could still be on one
04.Are you a mean bully?
* of course not !
05.Do you hate George Bush?
* random question
SELF ESTEEM SECTION.
01.Are you good looking?
* yes !
02.Do you wish you could be someone else?
* no one else in the world
LOOK AT ME.
01.What is your current hair color?
* brown with streaks
02.Whats your natural color?
* black
03.What color are your eyes?
* dark brown
04.Current Piercings?
* 2 on my ears
05.Straight Hair or Curls?
* straight
CURRENTLY WEARING.
01.What shirt are you wearing?
* red roxy (fake)
02.Shorts?
* nike from smith st in melbourne. only 30 bucks
03. Shoes?
* i don;t wear shoes at home
04. Bracellet?
* star charm bracelet
05. Necklaces?
* nope.
THIS OR THAT.
01. Rock or rap;
* a mix ??
02. Coffee or Hot Cocoa;
* aah. cocoa but coffee makes me WIDE AWAKE
03. Wild Night out or Romantic Night in;
* night in
04. Chocolate or Vanilla;
* chocolate
05. Hummer or Sports Car;
* sports
06. Bracelet or Necklace;
* necklace
07. History or Science;
* science
08. Sleep in or Early to rise;
* i would like to be a early to rise person but i'm currently mre of a sleep in person
09. Beach or Boardwallk;
* beach
10. Hoodie or Tee Shirt;
* tee shirt.
11. Night or Day:
* day! its so much happier with the sun out ! and warmer too
12. High School or college;
* college
13. California or Florida;
* florida
14. Love at first sight or Learn to Love;
* love at first sight
HAVE YOU EVER.
01. Hugged someone?
* yepps
02. Been on the phone until the sun came up?
* yes.
03. Put a song on repeat for more than an hour?
* yes ! after that i got so sick of the song.
04. Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?
* once when i was really urgent and couldn't stop laughing. but luckily it wasn't THAT MUCH pee.
LAST...
01.person you talked to in person?
* my mother ?
02.person you talked to online?
* eric
03.person you talked to on the phone?
* jm
05.laugh?
* just
06.last time you had a shower?
* hey. i bathed today !
what do u want now ?
* for everyone in my life to be blessed and to be happy !
a bit cheat my feelings ah .....
anyway there's this thomas guy who added me on msn and started chatting with me. quite weird.
i'm leaving on tiesday morning !! so fast. y stay is coming to an end. oh well i've really enjoyed myself the past few days. thanks everyone for making time to ctah up on stuff.
YSunday, April 16, 2006
Pass this along to everyone with an aging parent, to a child, to an adult, to anyone with a parent. Here's hoping today is better than yesterday and tomorrow is even better!
was just checking through my mail as in email which i haven't checked in a super damn long time i think. haiyah. and it made me feel even more remorseful. cos i saw emails sent by people like janica, caiping, ivan, fred, jm all sorts of people. and then i again feel so bad that i haven't been putting in effort to maintain the friendship with these people. sighs. its so sad i want to cry. haix. seeing how other people in singapore who are so busy with their hectic life are willing to put in effort to go to the school libarary to send me an email. and i'm so free yet i don't even bother to send them a simple hello.
haix. reflection is cruel. it makes me realise what a terrible friend i am. and i don't like it. but thats life. you just got to learn how to handle the things you don't like
i just watched 'pay it forward' . its really a very very good show and its a true story. the idea was really good of doing something big to help three people. and each of the people who have been helped must pay it forward and do something big to help another three people. it started as this seventh grade social studies project to change the world. and this little boy comes up with this idea. in the end he dies. because he finally managed to get courage to help his friend who always gets bullied and gets stabbed. after that, like a lot of people come to their house to pay their respects to him. probably people from all over the world kind of thing because the pay it forward thing had been passed to the next country and state and stuff.
it got me wondering how a little boy can do something to change the world and even when he dies, he's being remembered. its such a cool thing to be able to impact people all over the world and leave some form of legacy behind. it probably isn't a very easy task but yah... it gets me thinking like if i can think of impacting the world in some way, why can't i actually do something that can benefit others. well. even i don't have the answers to that. so ... i'll let everyone ponder about it.
YFriday, April 14, 2006
oh and also. i got myself a mini tamagotchi from the airport in australia. its way cute but like donkey years ago lar. and now i kind of regret buying it. oh well. don't really need to take care of it cos its not like those fancy new ones they sell. haha
YThursday, April 13, 2006
so here's the story. i woke up at like 340 pm cos i slept at 6am which sucks. cos i didn't get to go to school to meet my juniors or collect my o level award thingie. and i also dfidn't get to go with my sister to her BIG MAKEOVER thing. which really sucks sucks sucks. SUCKS ! if you know what i mean lar. grrr.
well well. i'm leaving on tuesday morninr like really really early at 530 am which means i have to be at the airport at about 3 plus. bah. it seems like such a short time that i've been back. and wlike i feel like staying longer. but it'll be quite troublesome. bleahs. there's so many people i would like to meet up with. but so little time and everyone's busy too. so... never mind in december ! i'll have lots lots lots of free time. everyone will be revising j1 stuff while i can slack like crazy !watch movies whole day.
i think this time i've come back i've spent a lot of money. so i'm going to limit my pocket money over there. have been spending quite a lot over there the past two months.
i'm currently addicted to more songs. 只想爱你 by 杨丞琳 angel by jaycee chan and also not like other girls by jessica simpson. they aren't new songs but sorry i've been pretty much deprived of chinese music over there !
well well i'm meeting trixie elaine and janica for dinner later. haven't really decided where to eat. hmmm. but anyway its not about what you eat its the people you eat with. whee
i'm currently having problems with my new ipod, grrr. its making me pissed off.
Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again,
this time more intelligently.
-Henry Ford
Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
-Winston Churchill
my mummy bought me a new ipod ! cos I’ve been such a good girl by being really honest with her about all the stuff I do in Melbourne. Or rather all the rather naughty stuff I’ve done there which I normally wouldn’t have done if I stayed in Singapore.
well well. Now I’ve a bit lost my train of thought. Because its like when you start thinking about stuff you need to write them down immediately but if you imagine you’re me and you’re sitting around impatiently waiting for the computer to be free and at the same time trying to run all the thoughts you want to blog about in your head, trying to remember the exact words I thought of then it actually isn’t as simple as it seems. I’m a mind-map sort of person where I think I need to write down the main ideas or I’ll forget them. Like if I talk to someone and I suddenly think of something and at the same time I don’t want to butt in then I’ll forget what I want to say. It’s a bad habit ! but I don’t really think there’s anything I can do about it
so these are my recent thoughts. or rather the ones that I can remember.
one day, I came back from a movie with my friends in Melbourne and other people were asking how the movie was. My friend summed up the movie in like less than ten words and I said the movie was really good then proceeded to try to describe the movie in the most summarized way I can. Then my friend said “ see. That’s the difference between a seven pointer and a 16pointer.(ok I don’t know if its 16 or whatever but its somewhere along there ok *hahas)” now thinking about it, I suddenly wonder if I’m that different from people. Is it just the way I am ?? is it that I’m a bit different from the majority of people ? like God made me special for a reason ?? hmmm suddenly this thought came over me today along the way. Oh well this isn’t really important.
ps: I realize this is coming out in quite perfect English cos I’m typing this as a word document so they automatically eradicate errors and correct spelling mistakes. And this looks like its going to be a VERY very long post.
just now I went out with NCO people today. Met yiangshan, libing, fadhli, aizat, sarah, Melissa. Its been a long long time since I’ve went out with a group of people and laughed so much. I mean not like I don’t laugh a lot with my friends in Melbourne, but its different. Cos they’re friends that I’ve been hanging out with for like close to a year already. In a way, its hard like letting go of such a wonderful friendship. Not like letting go. But…. You know what I mean right. Not the splitting sort of meaning. Yesh
well well. We ate burger king. Finally ate mushroom swiss double. Whee. After like a gazillion years.
so I was talking to sarah. Then she told me something. About a guy. Concerning me. So I don’t want to dwell into stuff that has already happened and is long over. Lif just has to go on right. So it got me thinking about what things would be like if I didn’t go. Like after all this time I still haven’t figured out the reason why I chose to leave and study in a foreign country.- 1) my parents forced me?? (no. they didn’t force me) 2)my parents are trying to get rid of me ?? (I should think not because they didn’t force me 3)I was trying to run away from my problem with the golfing issue ?? (I’m not really one to run away from stuff although I do avoid my problems till they go away but then I don’t think that was a BIG issue like I wondered whether subconsciously I chose to go because of that but it doesn’t sound right) 4) I found studying in Singapore too stressful ?? ( I try to do my best in tough situations and I think I excel with some stress. And besides, I think I would have just gone to poly if I had stayed in singapore so…. And I did get 7 points in the O’s. not to brag or anything. But everyone thinks it’s a waste to do so well but go overseas. 5) I wanted to gain exposure ? and get an experience of a lifetime ?? ( maybe… i think either way, it would have been anexperience of a lifetime. Because you’re only 17 once. Either you spend mugging in Singapore. Or in Melbourne. You can’t have it in between.
so I guess its sort of a mixture of everything including some others which I haven’t really thought about YET. Because people are constantly asking me the same question and I’m constantly trying to come up with reasonable answers. So .. yah give me some time. When I finally find the answer somewhere deep inside my heart. Then I know I’ll be willing to share with people.
hohums. such a long long thing. ok so where was i ?? i just transferred my typing to my com. and i'm doing it directly into blogger so i don't have to be ma fan later. oh well.
hmmm okok now i remember. today someone told me i'm a very deep thinker. and thats what makes my blog a nice one to read because i tap into my innermost feelings and don't mind sharing stuff about me with people. i always thought no one read y blog. but maybe the numbers have gone up because i'm in melbourne so people become more curious about my otherwise mundane life.
waah something i realised is that the more you type, the better your english becomes. for me that is. like nice vocab start popping to my head and the words flow out of my fingertips. hahas. like silver sparks of inspiration -- ah this is the effect of the literature i've been studying. two months of poems.[rowing in Eden, ah the sea might i moor- tonight in thee] hahas. i still remember ! and [so much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens] maybe i should put up my essay i prepared for the exam on my analysis of the poems . haha. quite embarassing lar. don't want.
oh then yah i really think i think a lot into things. i remember a point in my life where i chatted with tim frequently. then he kept saying i think too much. like i have nothing better to do with my time on the bus lar. my one hour bus rides from cedar. then i used to think about what could happen on the bus. like something romantic. such as errr... i drop my stuff and this cute guy will help me to pick them up. then we become friends and things like that. hahas. that time i was super boliao i think. or maybe the effects of too much chinese drama serials. then after that when i stopped watching them, i also stopped thinking about these dumb thoughts. *notice i stoned there to think of a word to describe how boliao they are. but no word comes to my mind except boliao. lolx
yah. well its funny how everything links to each other and they don't link on purpose. like how sarah was talking about tim not meeting up with us because he wants to watch his rugby thingie or something. then it made me think of that point of time where i told him about my silly thoughts. then later on the bus she suddenly started saying the part how i'm a deep thinker. then it brought my thoughts back to tim again. hahas. funny lar life
so... yah. just now i was on my way home and this scary man tried to make friends with me. it's the first time a stranger has come up and talked to me lar so obviously i don't really know what to do and stuff. so i tried to handle it as best as i could. except for the time in sec2 after national day celebration and this guy was asking me whether i would like to act in a movie. hahas. that its not any indecent movie or anything. i don't know what happened to the movie though. but who cares lar. freako !
yah so he said what.. you're a very cute girl. has any guy ever told you that. hahas. i bet he has nothing better to do but come up with this sort of cheesy pickup line. yep
my sister is currently doing this business programme thing. we decided to hold a garage sale at my house on good friday. which is like tomorrow right. yupps. selling stuff like jewellery 3 for $10 and they're really nice stuff. and nice cards. inspirational books and things like that. used clothes are like 50cents apiece if i'm not wrong. cool right. so people come down to my house ok. bring your friends and all. aunties. uncles. there's something for everyong. kids even
err... what else do i want to type about ?? aaah... ooh ok i just did my hair. in a way i feel like i look older. yet nicer. yet like a bit more exciting. and it was quite ex. but sounds like normal price. aargh. this is weird lar.
hmmm.. lots of scandalous things seem to be happening to me recently.
this has no link lar. but i think that i'm quite weird. maybe within this short period of time i've been sort of forced to grow up and mature. or maybe i was just this way all along before i even went to melbourne. hahas
ooh ok now i'm getting quite random. cos its 3.22am singapore time. so its 5.22 melbourne time. i asked fred to go bathe so i can chat with him properly after i finish this. looks like he fell asleep in the toilet. hahas
oh hohos. i forgot what i wanted to say AGAIN ! darn so thats all for now i guess.
till next time ! take care. i love you
i wonder what i'd do without the people who are the most important to me
ooh ok i finally remembered what i wanted to blog about. it's about studying in melbourne. like i'm not as hardworking as i was in singapore. like there doesn't really seem to be a need to be. but all the free time seems a bit unnerving for me. to have so much free time with nothing to do. makes me wonder whether there are stuff i haven't done. because, i'm so used to that sort of life, rushing around, homework !
YWednesday, April 12, 2006
i'm back in singapore for holiday. and for only such a short time. so many people i would like to meet but there esn't enough time. and i still need to spend time with my family.
i arrived on saturday night like 10pm. i took a plane by myself for the first time and it was probably the loneliest seven hours of my life. no one sat beside me on the plane. oh well.
not much to update about. but i just think from now on i should make it a point to blog about my life in melbourne at least once a day or every two days. yupps. then can take note of the silly things that happened. haha.
gonna sleep now and recuperate !
YSunday, April 02, 2006
i'm listening to this nice song called 'frostbite' by michael learns to rock. seems lousy but its really nice ! go listen ! well i'm still trying to do literature. hopefully my hard work on it will not be wasted.
i'm having diarrhoea today i think. just now after lunch i had stomachache and now i'm having stomachache again. boo
neo and andrew have a new corridoor mate that just moved in today. its damn funny because neo didn't srink or club for a week and went for church and ocf with us so that he will get a hot corridoor mate but they say she's not. so .... hahas. highly amusing.
ok i better continue with the typing out of my red wheel barrow by william carlos williams. maths exam is tomorrow but its not counted so ... shall only go through it tonight. lolx.
7 days till i'm home ! whoopie. its the start of daylight savings. we move back our time by an hour so i'm only 2 hours ahead of singapore. yupps.
last night i talked to my sister !! i'm so happy because i haven't talked to her in a long long time !
ooh now's the next song called 'the ghost of you' by michael learns to rock once again. listen to it ok !! its really really nice ! -how i tried to get you off my mind, but you return all the time, i believed i could just let you go, like the fool i am , baby why do i still cry for you. dying to get close to you, oh baby why do i still fear to face the ghost of you. i've been trying to release you to get my feet back on the ground. still i need my hope to hold on to even if i know i should back away. its still a part of me i can't erase. baby why do i still cry for you. dying to get close to you. oh baby why do i still fear to face the ghost of you. everytime i look away i see... the ghost of you
hoho.. its seriously nice