YMonday, May 01, 2006
this song quite displays what i'm feeling now. its a weird feeling. its called journey bny corrinne may if you're interested. its a bad song to listen to when you're feeling sad because it tells u what you're feeling which kind of makes things worse. i was hoping and wishing that i'd get into the student committee although i know i didn't go for one of the days. hmmm. i was bracing myself for disappointment anyway and well i didn't get in because i didn't turn up for one of the workshops. i was hoping that i'd get in with my honesty and truthfulness though. but no. i still didn't get in . haiyah . maybe its all God's will. its all part of His mighty plan for me. i hope so. what if my getting in is actually His will. and i'm not fulfilling it. sighs. kinda saddening. i don't know if i'm feeling sad , whether i really wanted to get in or not. i know in sec. school i wanted it quite badly. but now.... my mind was full of thoughts about whether or not i would enjoy it, whether i'd be able to work well with others. i'm changing. i'm not really being me ?? what happened to my courage and bravery ?? to dare to do things without thinking about the what-ifs. there are a thousand reasons why i should give up.. but i'm stubborn in the things i believe. cos the river runs and the river hides. out to the ocean and under the sky. i promise you the answer will come. hold on to patience just wait for the sign. everything in its time.everything in its time. how come all the songs i'm listening to now have such meaning. that was everything in its time by corrinne may again. heh this is the first time i'm having a friend that i'm quite close to get attached and i know about it. hahas. its a weird feeling. maybe thats what it is. maybe cos i've been in a girls' school all my life and i never knew if my close friends got bf's or anything. maybe we all didn't like guys lar hahas. i have a bad feeling about it though. somehow.. maybe its the person. hmmm maybe this time there'll be the case where the person drifts away from us. aiyah. shouldn't joke about this sort of stuff but then it'll be quite interesting cos i really never had a friend whom i knew was attached lolx. something like that anyway don't know why. i've been quite down lately. sucky feeling i tell u . oh well.. i'm now thinking about what i wanna do in uni. my initial plan was dentistry, orthodontists earn so much money ! haha or maybe physio. or something like occupational therapy. don't know what sort of degree that is though.. hahas
its a long long journey till i find my way home to you. many days... i've spent, drifting off onto empty shores. wondering whats my purpose. wondering how to make me strong. i know i will falter i know i will cry i know you will be standing by my side. for long long journey. and i need to be close to you. sometimes it feels no one understands. i don't even know why i do the things i do. when pride builds me up till i can't see my song, will u break down these walls and pull me through. cos its a long long journey till i feel i am worth the prize. you paid the price for me on calvary beneath the stormy skies. when satan marks and when friends turn to foes. when everything is out to make me lose control. cos its a long long journey. till i find my way home.... to you....
shoE was here with you at