Beautiful Disaster.

today i was supposed to go to the state library to do my eap. but then on the way i was attracted by melbourne central. the last time i went shopping was last monday. and since the past few days i've been feeling a bit lethargic and bored. i figured some retail therapy would do me good. yeah !!

today albert house was supposed to go for brunch at the botanic gardens. i know it sounds like singapore but melbourne has one too. anyway it got cancelled cos everyone couldn't wake up. and sean went all the way there and we weren't there. sheesh. so being very guilty about our bad behaviour we bought a cake for an jiejie to say sorry.

sorry an jiejie !! we still love you

this is an jiejie after we made her smile. (although not very flattering) your cooking still rocks man

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just went to freddo's and had ice cream with qiqi . green tea and durian. a pretty weird combination but it tastes good cos we like green tea and we like durian. although i probably won't order this weird combi next time hahas. YEAH ! i made someone like green tea ! whoo i rock

thats us with our ice cream. shhh we already had strawberry ice cream with watermelon for desert at dinner.

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human nature: Science, technology, and society.
Giving Head
The first human penis transplant.
By William Saletan
Posted Friday, Sept. 22, 2006, at 1:31 AM ET
Seventy years ago, we began transplanting human organs. With each decade, our ambitions grew. We started with kidneys, then advanced to lungs, livers, and hearts. We defied mortality. We turned death into life.

Now our ambitions are turning outward. The body parts we're replacing are more visible and less vital. Eight years ago, a man in New Zealand got a new hand. Three years ago, a patient in Vienna got a new tongue. Last year, a woman in France got a new face.

This week we crossed another line: A Chinese man has been given a new penis.

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At one time or another, every middle-aged guy wishes he had the virility of a man half his age. In this case, that wish came horribly true. In what doctors call "an unfortunate traumatic accident," a 44-year-old Chinese man lost all but the last half-inch of his penis. To replace it, they offered him the 4-inch member of an anonymous 22-year-old brain-dead patient whose parents had agreed to donate the organ. The surgery was performed at Guangzhou General Hospital by—I am not making up this name—Dr. Weilie Hu.

This isn't an operation you'd undertake lightly. According to the case report, published in the Elsevier journal European Urology, the beneficiary of the new penis—I'm trying not to call him the receiving partner—was given "systemic broad-spectrum antibiotics, anticoagulation, antispasm agents, and immunosuppressants." He endured penile congestion, discoloration, "venous stasis," "lymphatic drainage," and "segmental epidermis necrosis." European Urology has pictures of the whole process, starting with the original "penile defect." It consists of a scrotum with what looks like labia where the penis should be. The necrosis is nasty. You really don't want to see the venous stasis.

You have to feel bad for this guy. He must have wanted the surgery pretty badly. And he did. He "was chosen," according to the doctors, primarily becuase of "his strong demand for recovery of his ability to void while standing and to have normal intercourse." Note the key phrase: while standing. "He could not urinate in a standing position," the doctors write. "His quality of life was affected severely."

Let's start with the tactless question: Is the inability to urinate while standing an unacceptable loss of quality of life? Is every woman entitled to a penis? Alternatively, is the inability to have normal intercourse grounds for a transplant? Should we subsidize Viagra? Is there a human right to free and fair erections?

The central picture in the case report shows the penis a day after the surgery. It has "excellent cosmetic appearance," says the caption. Indeed it does. It sure looks better than it did in the picture to the left, where it's floating in a bucket. But is cosmetic appearance our goal? In an editorial alongside the report, Dr. Jean-Michel Dubernard, who helped engineer last year's face transplant, suggests that penile replacement is a logical extension of our increasing efforts to repair "aesthetic" defects. In another editorial, Dr. Yoram Vardi, an Israeli urologist, argues that penile amputation causes "significant psychological, cosmetic, functional, and physical disabilities." Psychological disabilities? Cosmetic disabilities? If a cosmetic problem is a disability, what isn't?

In a follow-up article, Dr. Hu and his colleagues explain the shortcomings of alternatives to penile transplantation. Penile reconstruction often leads to "unsatisfactory cosmetic appearance," they write. Moreover, "Penile lengthening has a limit as to the length of penis." Being able to urinate or have sex is no longer enough. If you're not big enough or good-looking enough, you don't measure up.

But physical superficiality is only half the story. The other half is psychological complexity. The more we tinker with the surface of the body, the more deeply we affect the mind. We're altering image and self-image. According to Dr. Hu and his colleagues, "Very traditional Chinese think of the penis as a 'life-spring' to carry on the ancestral line; indeed, they regard it to be the symbol of man." This "symbolic meaning," the doctors suggest, is what ultimately justified the surgery.

It's an intriguing idea. Too bad the doctors didn't think it through. If what you're really operating on is a patient's symbolic understanding of himself, then you'd better learn about the psyche, not just the penis, before you start cutting. And that's what the Chinese surgeons failed to do.

The case report details how beautifully the surgery succeeded. Then, abruptly, it ends with the sentence: "At day 14 postoperatively because of a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife, the transplanted penis regretfully had to be cut off." In the follow-up article, they explain, "The patient finally decided to give up the treatment because of the wife's psychological rejection as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis."

In other words, the surgery failed. It passed the old tests—functionality, healing, immunosuppression—but flunked the new tests: cosmetics, aesthetics, symbolic meaning. The body didn't reject the tissue; the mind did. In their follow-up report, the doctors remain baffled. "What happened after the operation was still beyond our and the patient's imagination because this was the first attempted transplantation," they plead.

Forgive the expression, but that excuse won't cut it. Failure of imagination is exactly the problem. Maybe cosmetic surgery is progress. Maybe, after decades of giving people hearts and lungs, we're entitled to indulge in transplants that save egos rather than lives. But if that's what we're doing, we'd better learn as much about egos as we know about tongues, faces, and genitals. Until then, keep it in your pants.
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thats so cool man a penis transplant
imagine if every guy in could get one.. a bigger one ?? a longer one ?? i don't know.
hahas anyway it sounds like a very silly idea to me. you should be happy with what u have and not try to match up to other people's ideals. no one's perfect right
and anyway only your spouse should complain about how big or imperfect it is. and she probably wouldn't complain if she really loved you. oh well
i'm no expert at the male genitals so yeah . just wanted people to know that there's such a thing. maybe such operations are going to be made available to everyone in the near future ?? i wonder what the situation will be like then .. will men be queuing up for surgery ?? will wives ask their husbands to go for the op ?? lolx

shoE was here with you at 7:11 PM .

today we went to watch "the devil wears prada". it was nice but i donn't think there was a conclusion. miranda just smile smile.. then nothing haha

sometimes i hate myself. i think too much. i get upset over insignificant things. i need ME time. i feel lethargic. i don't exercise. sheesh. that sucks man
oh well..

i have to start thinking about what i wanna do in university already.. its drawing nearer and nearer. i used to think i had a lot of time to think about it cos of JC and all. but now.. its so so so CLOSE !!

i don't even know what i'm good at anymore. don't know what i like. just feel so sick of things sometimes. feeling so tired. feeling not like me. i just don't know what to do

so any of you reading this wanna tell me what you think i'm good at and what my strengths are. or what you think i should do .. don't hesitate to tell me. i need all the advise i can get

shoE was here with you at 8:05 PM .

imagine to be married at 18.. thats like next year hah. what if i get an arranged marriage lolx
that would be so funny.
today is a slack day. never do anything.

i realised everyone is different. some people are weird some do strange things. some i don't understand some make me confused.

thanks to tiana and lim !! for cheating us that they didn't buy anything back from krispy kremes. and for getting us the absolutely cute hats !! i loved them
and also qiqi for making this photo although its my idea and my stupid pose. lolx
so fat so fat !! ate so much last night. including delicious wedges

shoE was here with you at 2:01 PM .

shoE was here with you at 1:31 PM .

today i went with chian and teo to repair chian's hard disk, she became gangster cos it half died on her. haha
keep saying "ni mei you si guo ah" and "qian bian ah"
hahas. damn funny lar. then we went to cut hair. went to this shop called ren do hair. so cute right. got cut by this jap guy he was so sweet. then we said we wouldn't mind going back to that shop cos we don't look too bad. compared to the 72 dollar shop teo asked us to cut at. i'm quite pleased with my 35 dollar cut. its not that bad i think. although andrew wong and all think i look better with my longer hair and my longer fringe. its quite cute lar. i cut my fringe short again. and cut away the pink parts of my hair. haven't got the photos yet . shall put them tmr. yes i will i will
then at night the three of us went for supper. walked down flinders there and ate apple crumble and deluxe wedges. were the best wedges i ever ate. yummy. melted cheese and bacon bits.. and sour cream. whoo
rocks man !
feel so fatty bom bom now. blah .

been watching " my little bride" recently. so sweet lar the two of them. she's so hot and he's so so nice.
can i marry him !! haha
no matter what happens, hold your head high and never run away from the situation

shoE was here with you at 2:45 AM .

my holidays here in melbourne started a week ago.
the first thing we did was go on a trip to the great ocean road over the weekend. paid 130 dollars to get motion sickness and squash ourselves in a tiny bus and rush from one scenic spot to another. but also to spend a lot of valuable time with friends and get utterly refreshed by the great sea views and the glow worms.

it was so funny on saturday morning. cos we were supposed to meet at 9am at lincoln square. and us albert house people were late as usual. i was so scared that the bus had left without us know.. if not our money would have been wasted and they would probably have only 5 people on the bus ??
but yeah we made it on time cos the bus driver went to the wrong place so he was late too .. hurr hurr
so yeah we set off all excited and cramped in the tiny tiny bus. just nice to fit us in it

there the small bus and all of us on the trip

this is us at the beginning of the tourist section of great ocean road.

we went to see the twelve apostles. then went to this beach to see how tall it actually was. i went to play with the water being the only one in slippers and short pants and i lost my slipper

thats me before

thats me in the water

thats me after the wave took me slipper

but luckily i managed to get it back thanks to a wonderful friend who grabbed it back when the waves brought it back. yupp jinsern tried to throw my other slipper into the sand. lucky he didn't
so i still have both left and right slippers now.

yupp we did a lot of fun things. we went to stay at this dorm kinda thing and spent the night playing games and all. really got to know people better. especially people like lilian and steven cos i never really talked to them before but they're very VERY nice people although lilian lost her voice haha. poor thing. but she protected me and held onto my hand when i was scared going up and down the stairs which were very high and i made sure she didn't fall down at the rainforest at night. cos we went to this rainforest to look at glowworms. initially we used torchlights. but later we turned them off to have a better view of them. the darker and the quieter it was. the more worms lit up. they looked like stars in front of you. very preetty !!

dinner at the camp place was sper nice !!
pumpkin soup and bread.. chicken and beef and peas and carrots and potatoes and pumpkin. woah so so so nice i tell you. so succulent and tender the meat and really tasty. so much better than the albert house we've been eating.

the dinner !!
i'm not in the photo but there's our bus driver

oh hoho. we did a lot a lot of things during that trip. sang old songs for about an hour on the way back from the glow worms. took like a gazillion photos. yupp.
an overall enjoyable trip. good to be spent with friends or family. but a generallylong journey and ride which was winding. but thats life right. sometimes you get a bit sick and the roads are never straight but you get to be with people who love and care for you and have a whole lot of fun at the same time

i'm now in the state library. its the first time i'm coming in here and its so pretty !! i think i wouldn't mind coming here to study for term4. or in the future. really nice and there's computers to use. hoho
today was the opening of the new kirspy kremes in the city. we planned to wake up at 6am to go and queue up but ah haha no one did.. anyqway syafiq bought the girls a dozen and we all shared.. YUMMY !!! super nice i tell you/ especially the blueberry one which looked the ugliest but tasted one of the best. and the original one is sooo nice too. mm mmm..
the jam ones and the others were quite weird so i still like blueberry and original THE BEST ~~~ whoo

this isn't finished yet but i'll finish it soon
wednesday 270906

shoE was here with you at 7:47 PM .

muah haha. qi just had a new word
she wants me to protect the clock but then i'm not doing anything. finally beng decided to pass it to her. after much persuasion. qiqi you're losing cos beng is reading my blog !!

qi has a new word . poderful !!
its like milo being a new egg product and all
qiqi has giant pimples on her face, while i have no pimples !! my face is shiny and smooth !!
nia haha..
she thinks beng wants to use her big name to tag my blog.
beng u must be wang en fu yi but there's no en to wang so ... you can infer the rest !! heh

qi i'm winnning !!

shoE was here with you at 11:00 PM .

i am piggy but qi is piggier !!
i am quite blur but qi is the most blur. (more blur than me)
i am quite dirty but then qi is dirtier than me.
i am messy but qi is messier
i am greedy but qi is greedier ! muah hahas
qiqi you cannot win ! if i don't lend u laptop no one will los. muah hahas. i will tell pong and janice and beng and wong not to lend you. hurr hurr. i will tell EVERYONE not to lend you hurrhurr

shoE was here with you at 10:29 PM .

hahas. the past two days i've been down with viral meningitis. boo.
on thursday night my fever was like above 39 degrees for the whole night and didn't come down at all ..
on friday when i went to see the doctor. she said i had viral meningitis. sounds really scary.
yupp. she said if i started to develop a rash then i should go to the hospital. but lucky i didn't
and today i'm all better already after taking how many doses of that horrible tasting aspro. i never ever want to take it again man . although it helped to bring down my fever .boo
i'm realy grateful to cheryl for tirelessly taking care of me while i was sick. and ben and czeyang for taking care of me late in the night during my high fever. and also everyone else for coming to visit me and pray for me thanks people !! X)

shoE was here with you at 1:21 PM .